Pence indicators a multi-million greenback memoir deal recounting his time as Trump’s pockets poodle

To be honest, I’m totally thrilled. And if Chapter 1 of the first book isn’t titled “Donald Trump tried to kill me, so fuck that sick orange clown,” I’m appalled too.

From the guard:

The mother of all bookstores: Mike Pence signs a seven-digit memoir deal

Mike Pence signed a two-book deal for his memoir that is said to be worth millions of dollars. This makes him one of the first in the inner circle of former President Donald Trump to announce such a lucrative agreement.

Pence’s autobiography, which currently has no title, is slated for release in 2023. CNN reported that the former vice president’s deal is in the seven digits, ranging from $ 3 million to $ 4 million.

“I am grateful to have the opportunity to tell the American people the story of my life in the public service, from serving in Congress to the Office of the Indiana Governor and Vice President of the United States,” Pence said in a statement. “I look forward to working with the amazing team at Simon & Schuster to invite readers on a trip from a small Indiana town to Washington, DC.”

Heh heh. “Mother of all book stores.” Good guardian.

But honestly, who is the audience for it? True MAGAs hate him and everyone else too. I’m not sure what the allure might be unless it is a two volume epic saga about the time a fly landed on his head and refused to leave.

There are only so many books for the Republican National Committee to buy and only so many rickety pool tables in all of Christendom.

But hey, if he’s still so fooled that he can run for president and win, he’s probably convinced he has hundreds of interesting things to say, too.

In all seriousness, the only thing I really want to hear from Mike Pence is how he felt when Donald Trump tried to murder him, but for some reason I doubt he will address that. It might end up being perceived as disloyal.

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